From Chapter 31 of A Thousand Names for Joy by Byron Katie:

It doesn't take two people to end war in a marriage; it takes only one. And if two people have ended it, life can be twice as beautiful.

I come in after work and open the refrigerator door. My favorite snack is waiting for me. I know the exact place where I put it: on the top shelf, to the right . . . It's not there! He ate it! I feel an inner chuckle. There are no stressful thoughts, such as "He's inconsiderate, he knew it was mine, I was so looking forward to eating it, and he ruined it all." Not a snack attack: a thought attack! If I had these thoughts and believed them, I'd begin to feel annoyed at Stephen, maybe even angry and resentful. The reality is that I instantly understand it's better for me that he did eat my snack. In fact, I'm glad he ate it. I can't help smiling. Even thought I wasn't aware of it at the time, it turns out that I bought it for him. I'm delighted to know that I was so considerate. And I'm also considerate to myself in seeing things this way.

When Stephen comes home, I tell him. We both laugh. He says he didn't realize I had bought the snack for myself. I tell him how glad I am that he ate it, and I also ask him to check with me next time, to see if in fact it's for him. He agrees. I realize that he might remember this and he might not. I'm thrilled to see that what I planned fell short of reality. I had imagined eating the snack myself, and something even sweeter happened.

^z - 2014-12-04